i have nothing to stick around for but not much more to go home to.

i wish i could find a w a y to look past this quiet indifference that you've taken so unkindly to. thinking that 'if i get away everything will fix itself.' well i got away and everything's just a little messier. sometimes i think i'm not even happy anymore, even though i know life presents itself to me in pretty beautiful ways. i guess thing's really changed when she told me your secrets, and i feel bad for you more than anything. the people you think you can trust with anything (everything) could turn out to be the people hiding the most. what i would do to revert back to the good days that i think about when i'm feeling so blue, the sticky thing is now that when i think of days like that i might just be getting a little sadder. i just don't understand. i. don't. get. it. i guess a little more changed as soon as i saw you. i want to write so directly but there's no way i can right now. i want to talk sooooo directly but i don't know if i should? i just want simple and exciting and new and comfort and to be entirely certain about maybe just a few things. i'm just really exhausted of thinking i need to fix everything when all of this is just a map of two way streets. disheartened? kind of. discontent? maybe. then i think i really shouldn't be feeling like this because it might just all be in my head.