the people who you know understand you will probably be the ones to understand best and you gotta keep that in mind. my world is weird. my mind is weird. i look at things as if they aren't what they actually are... they're already different as soon as i open my eyes. whenever i open my eyes. if you can understand that. i remember the eyes of every person that has meant something to me like that. you know? i remember looking in their eyes, and i remember being able to tell things just from that. at least think i could tell things. few and far between, there have been few and far between. so close to nobody has meant nothing to me. nobody has meant anything it seems like. or maybe it's the other way around - maybe i didn't ever really mean anything? i don't know, now i'm confusing myself. and i guess in a way kind of scaring myself mixed with kind of making myself feel better in the sense that if i've never meant anything then i don't have to do anything. you know? i like what i see and i like what i hear. i like when i laugh and i like how you talk. don't mean anything, that's the key supposedly. i am in a weird state. 10:00 on a wednesday night, finishing a pilsner and waiting for some of the only boys who actually get it to come over and cure me out of this state of ... whatever this is.