i'm just waiting for the moment i can break away the only reason that i stay is so i can save the day.

cause the world's got all these problems that i wanna fix but i can't care enough to get on an airplane and leave everything here and do anything there. yet. i'm willing to bet that these instincts that always seem to creep into my stomach and throat will always give me a key into everything's happening that i don't know. ohhh i still have a bad feeling. my head's still in it because it's only been a few days... but more than anything i just want to leave it alone. sometimes i really really really wonder how i actually live and take care of myself. i don't really know what i'm doing. i can't lay down because if i lay down i'll sleep forever and if i do that i'll never see you again... and that's something i can't do! oh youuu. even when everything that's happening here is still happening so fast and extravagantly i still find comfort in the fact that somewhere from 300 to 500 dollars later and a few hours on a plane and i could be waking up to you. "they like to work my pride while i work their nerves." some days i think i would and could give even less of a shiiiiiiiiiiiiit about it all if i could only get you in front of me. how long has it been like this already? god damn my head is in such a bizzare place right now and god damn does my apartment still feel empty. it feels like my girls have been gone for weeks but it's only been about five days. the end of this month feels good because it's that much closer to the end of next month and then well... you know what. i get east east east. i'm rambling.



you act so fuckinnnnnnnng ugllllly.