seems crazy that other people even think remotely like me.

"oooh that's what i'm good at. feeling nothing, i guess i'm good at feeling nothing. and being able to turn on the numb switch whenever i really please. do you get it yet? can you hear me? i hope you do but i hope you're smart enough to see past it (me) because all i ever really do is feel. and i think it's the fact that i sometimes don't know what to do with what i'm feeling so i convince myself that everything is nothing and something can come from anything and therefore nothing really matters as much as it seems because anything could happen and if it wasn't this it'd be another thing. and even when i say that i can SEE the sense in it, i can see the rationality and i can see how for some people, that's the truth. but for me it's just not enough because that's just how i am i guess - i'm perfectly sane and comfortable and cogent but completely berserk and out of my fucking mind stir crazy busy crazy and i guess that i'm like this because most days i wake up and twenty minutes later i already feel like i'm losing my mind. how can that be? how can a person be clear and simple and content but really is entirely too rushed and alone and sad to think about anything in a real sense. how can that be. my problems could get deemed untraditional if they could be deemed anything at all. my worries are relevant but i know i won't remember them in a few weeks time. my enemies are only enemies because i can't seem to get into the way they think. and now someone like you has come along and has completely pried into a side of me that i normally don't even consider letting anyone near and now you're doing THIS and keeping me in the fucking dark and that's when i don't know what to do. that's when i second guess everything that's gone through my head in the past month. and i always know, questioning your thoughts is the first step towards questioning your life and i just can't figure out if that could be a good thing or a bad thing yet. i just want to disappear and just NOT talk to anyone and be so fucking happy doing so."