Tuesday, April 20, 2010

i hope i die without a sound.

ripped out of space and she told me she couldn't stay another day. rip it out of my mind and he can't stand it. i swear to god i'd take the sharpest knife in my kitchen and cut around your scalp just so i could see an ounce of feeling in your eyes. feel some warmth of your blood all over my chest and hands. who knows now what'd make you sway in a way that you'd decide to put a stop to this and just move on for a few minutes. when you can't stand their voice then you're not supposed to give second chances and now i've found myself alone with a million subsequent answers. i just want to melt because i've never really been this bored. 'i know i'm nothing to me.' i just feel sick all the time. i guess as i was leaving last night i had this weird moment of truth where it hit me that none of this matters, it just doesn't matter. it matters in some sort of time and space and experience somewhere but when it comes down to it none of this matter and 99% of what upsets is pretty fucking trite and insignificant and even though some things may suck it's not worth it if you have to fight like this. so fuck it.

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