poison ideas

'We are the frost of these lives that go untouched and escape unscathed from claws of fate. The outcome of our worries blunder the most disaterous traits only to cease all suffering of a most certain death. All I remember from those nights are corriders 5 floors down lined with locked doors and paisley carpet and buzzing flourescent lights living above my thoughts. Timed exposure to the decks above and phantom fingers traced your brows and lips and hands. Polka dot dress brushing my thighs and your dark hair and lanky arms, they told us, how'd you learn to look so good side by side like that? We don't know we've never practiced infact we only met three days ago and clearly cannot escape. If you look out any window all you'll see is dark ocean and an even darker horizon. Maybe if you're
lucky you'll see
a
city
in the dis
tance. Nobody really cared about that anyway anymore, everyone was preoccupied with who are parents were or if we were going to take advanced calculus in the fall or if we had any plans together for the future. It was only our dreams that tied us together. Out secrets turned our short term fling into a life long ordeal. I will live by you and die by you and I won't rest until I see this through. Our lies were too easy and our deciet too merciful. Our secrets lived perfectly synched between us in such ways that even a ship of strangers hated our lust and minds and visions and noise and betrayal. Get down on your knees and pray and I never expect your answers nowadays. Said it before, I'm gunna say it again. If we live inside our own minds, in our own seperate worlds that we've created only for ourselves - we have every chance of flourishing and that many more tries at perishing. The pews of our minds are not strong enough at first to withstand what we are capable
of, we need not to progress to a point of either failure or misery, we need only our own concious will to drive us in the courses of fate.
And I watched him struggle in his sleep and the constant bow and bend of my anguish diminished before me. I will distinguish every note of clarity just to keep you to myself. I will betray my country in order to keep us together.
I refuse to die for my sins but you're free to avenge them. I will
not find solace in tolerance, I will push as far as your wasted body can go. I will watch you walk off the edge of our worlds and will only apologize when it feels okay to
do so.'