something about that place got me man. it got me. it has me. people who look like other people. people who talk in a different way than you imagined. dust in your eyes. having the nerve to do things that you never thought you'd see happen. loud high pitched laughs from people that should never make you want to hit something. all i want to do is fucking choke you to death. the way the floor moves. the way the room moves. the way things stay exactly still and nobody notices. objects. if you can't see it it could be an illusion. the unknown. "i never asked for the world." you'll never know because you're always looking. but ignoring everything else. why do only certain people that catch your eye? what about everyone else. drawn to. drawn in. can't help but feeling a little resentful. a little bitter. a whole lot of connection. feline faces with invisible whiskers. how much you can tell from the look in someone's eyes. the fear. always noticing the fear. i never used to notice it, i do all the time. it's one of the things that comes from it. that stupid fucking light that puts you on the same level. when you're told things. the best intentions that are plagued with ignorance. the kind you can't help. i like my friends the best because they get it and they know and they've been there and here and the future is just what's going to happen and you have control. "she eats her kids." it's not in what we smoked it's in what we think. "i'll find you and i'll kill you." faces in hills and eyes in everything else. is that the only reason you haven't bothered me yet today? because i swear that sound is doing something to me. i swear to god these hands these legs these eyes mean something more than something to move things with. moving mountains. moving hearts. moving thoughts. the power that is in consciousness. the integrity. the conscious that plagues subconscious. most of all i just wish i had something to do with all this spare time. she said she'd always come back and she said she'd always remember and if that's what you hold on to than that's what's going to get you in the end. lines that are crossed. boundaries that are made. even though it sucks it's true that you can't just put both feet in and expect everything to be fine. just because you're you. i don't give a fuck. "it made me think that everything was about to arrive - the moment when you know all and everything is decided forever." i didn't know what was happening to me. "IT! IT!" "That Rollo Greb is the greatest, most wonderful of all. That's what I was trying to tell you - that's what I want to be. I want to be like him. He's never hung-up, he goes every direction, he lets it all out, he knows time, he has nothing to do but rock back and forth. Man, he's the end! You see, if you go like him you'll finally get it." he looks good enough to kill. that place! the streets and the buildings and how when you look down the street any street you can only see the sky if you look directly up above you. and looking down. damn. looking down. how small things look from far enough away. physically being in the middle of a conversation. all i could see clearly was your shoes. i wish you guys didn't have the same name as each other. getting yourself messed up to the point of zero vulnerability because a state of calamity can be reached. not talking. because i don't want to look at you. dreaming in the middle of the day. it's just like why are you doing any of that and what are you actually trying to prove? because you're not proving anything. "but most of the time we were alone mixing up our souls ever more and ever more till it would be terribly hard to say good-by. At midnight we got up and goofed toward the highway."
PARADISE, I HAVE TOLD YOU SEVERAL TIMES WHAT PRESIDENT TRUMAN SAID, WE MUST CUT DOWN ON THE COST OF OUR LIVING and i heard him huff and puff into the darkness.
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