It's the best thing that you've ever had, the best thing that you've ever, ever had. the best thing you've had has gone away.

what freaks me out is never knowing what part of right now i should or shouldn't be paying enough attention to or taking for granted or anything like that. 6 months from now i might kill for anything that's happening right now but right now i don't know well enough to take a second look or give in for 5 seconds of my life. i just don't want to miss anything that i might one day miss... i want to soak in everything just in case. i want to soak in everything just for the chance of finding something to hold on to? i don't know. i've always thought like this, and i always pass by things. my mind is 100% different than it was a year ago, two years ago, five years ago... i don't know.