i don't even want to think about you right now, i don't ever want to think about anyone again. many years to come and all you have the nerve to say to me is nothing nothing nothing. i guess i don't write particulars anymore but instead i just try to remember to think calmly. sometimes all i need is some fresh air... whatever that might point towards. the other night someone appeared in front of me that hasn't been around in a long time, and i was just so glad to be listening to him talk again. and i was just so glad that he still made me happy. fuck. what makes me most mad is closed minds... and selfishness... and lying. the past 15 hours have been a blur of blood and sweat and tears... literally. days like those scare me because i thought i was past it all, when really it could hit me again at any time. fuck do i feel like death and such. see things clearly, see the detail, feeeeel what you need. you know?
i got a job at deville. starting monday?
i am so sick. i need to detox sooooo badly.
james tonight!!!!!!
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