today is unreal. it's so beautiful outside, instant happiness when i woke up! i slept for twelve hours last night. eight to eight. i was so tired from going out all weekend and not sleeping and working long shifts every day. i just couldn't stay awake. i haven't slept for that long at one time in months and months. i probably won't sleep for a few days now though... but that's okay. usualllllllll.
i love red bull. i love jets to brazil. i love salsa and tortilla chips. i love babes. i love the show deadliest catch... hahaha. i love meeting new people all the time. i love the fact that i'm going to be in new york in four months. i'm IN love with the fact that i'll be with kelly in four months. creeping people out. nice girls. waking up in italy. i wish i could wake up in italy tomorrow. and that everyone i love could be over there too. my life would be so insanely insane and wonderful and my dream world if i lived in italy and everyone i loved lived there too. i'd have my babes, my family, and where i'm most at home. together. i need to get to europe soon, on my own accord... with people i've never been there with. and do things i've never done. and show things to people about what i love about there that i've never really been able to show to people. maaaaaaaaaaan.
i want everything and i want nothing. i am content but i always need more. all i want to do is live the biggest i can live? figuring how to do that is fun. having fun is a main concern. continuing s state of meeeeeeeeelllownesss and being okay with everything. seeing things i'm not okay with and somehow making them better. whatever that may mean.
today's song:
I'm a long list with no time, sunset panic on the street.
Sugar and light bulbs,
the milk of kindness is behind us now with all those stones in your coat.
Did you think they wouldn't know?
The tea leaves of trashed sheets, dirty needles and sweets.
Zero to heaven in seven.
A lifetime. A nanosecond.
All the sand in your glass is going by so fast.
The radio is playing our tune.
I love it, could you turn it down?
The thought of you crying in my room.
I miss you, could you come around sometime?
When the night comes down,
the world becomes a room under the microscope with a lab coat and glue.
I'm fixing this hole with everything I knew.
The music is making my head split.
I love it, could you turn it off?
The thought of you is tearing me in two.
I miss you, could you come around sometime?
This list is what went right.
Your name is written twice.
We live like astronauts and our missions never cross.
The stakes are high.
We're standing by.
There used to be a hundred ways to put my arms around you.
Every one seemed new, natural, and true.
Perfecting loneliness 'till nothing's holding us.
Consider earth.
the second scariest thing is thinking about if what if everything you believe isn't true. it just isn't the correct answer. no answer to the problem. no problem. everything you percieve to be reality is just not how it actually is. your values aren't the best choice. your thoughts aren't what everyone else thinks is right, and instead of you being the right one, you're wrong. what if nobody else thinks in the way you do, but you think they do. the scariest thing is the fact that you'll never be able to figure out if you're right or if you're wrong. i hope there's some way to find that out.
No comments:
Post a Comment