today, this morning, out of nowhere i got so sick. sick like i used to get. sick that's not okay. sick that i needed to drop what i was doing and go home to my bed and not see anything, hear anything, taste anything, touch anything, do anything. i don't know what's wrong, i never really did know. apparently i know less now. all i want is to know. i know if i knew i'd be able to do something about it. or at least do something about it easier. i need to go into work at 4:30 and it's 3:35... that sucks. i wish it was sunnier out, i think i'd be a lot more cheerful right now if it were.
honest interpretations through honest eyes and honest mouths. when you look at someone and you just somehow get what their face is telling you. because you've been there too. and it's scary sometimes. i think that my lack of know how to go over to them and somehow convey that i get it, without using words necessarily, is something that fucks with me. i don't know how and i don't know if i should. i just want everyone that feels like that to know that i get it. i know what the feeling is. i can't explain it. i can't explain anything right now. hence this fucking vagueness.
it's weird seeing people you haven't seen in a long time... people that at one point you knew very well. it's weird that sometimes when these people come back you can go straight back to knowing them even though you haven't spoken or even seen them in half a year or longer. i love that. some people are starting to come home since school's done and even though i know it'll be so good i can't help but think at the back of my mind of one person who i just don't know what to say or what to do around. i know it'll be okay. it's just weird. i feel bad. i'm excited. maan. having a normal day until 1030 am then going home and sleeping until 3 just fucked with me. i don't know why.
this weekend was a gooder... every weekend is good though. i know good people. friday was drum then embassy and good drives. saturday i lurked all day by myself out in the world then i met tyler and went to some house show, and ended up going to neils then some bikeland party, where everyone i was there with sorta thing got kicked out... haha go figure.... but that's okay because everyone there just migrated to the embassy for a late late late night of weirdness? haha. the most random people were there, i kind of avoided them and whenever i was around them i caught myself openly just staring at them. haha. it was a good night, it was a really nice night even though it was really weird haha.
there's more things that i wanted to type about in this entry. this isn't it. i odn't know.
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