the weekend was unreal. friday was stoopin' in the sun at my house then drum then partying at my house after. saturday was johns house, bgue reunion/dinner, ayla's house, being belligerently drunk at fucked up with people that i love, then back to my house for the night with those same people. sunday kim and i woke up, joel and the guys from war doves were at my house, we went to kims parents house for easter dinner, then somehow decided that doing mushrooms would be a good day after three days of no sleep and being constantly NOT sober in some way. i think all the factors of exhaustion and everything kind of fucked with our night but now that i look at sunday night i feel good about it. we sat outside on the front stoop for so long. all i wanted to do was to be in nature and understand how the fuck it all works. how everything works? human behaviour actually blew my mind on sunday night. every single thing that happened was so distinct. humans act without discussion or thought, and then they act with discussion or thought. what's the difference between those two manners? vibes kicked my ass in the best way possible. all i pick up on now is vibes. vibes of objects, people, places, feelings. i'm failing at explaining what i've been thinking about because it's still not all really sorted out yet. one day i'll try this again.
but at the end of it all... i think i figured a lot of stuff out over the weekend. it's weird to actually think about, but certain things have changed... by that i mean my perceptions and legitimate feelings towards things are so different then they were four days ago. it's a good thing, i'm still trying to sort it all out in my head.
i'm floating in the world but everyone else is floating too. everything is beautiful. the state of everything. noticing things you've never given a second thought to. taking in as much as you can. realizing that being alive and being here is a purely independent state and no matter how hard you try you'll always be alone and responsible for yourself. being your own self. mind body soul.
that's it.
i'm okay with being completely alone, because my friends are the best friends in the entire world to be alone alongside.
this is scattered.
life life life.
No comments:
Post a Comment